Safety Lost (Killing the Dead Book 3) Read online

  “What about Windermere?” I asked. “That town is to the north isn’t it? Has anyone been up there?”

  “Yes I went. It’s still got people living there and some soldiers. They know we are here and have offered to do the occasional drive down to check on us.” Lily said.

  “Soldiers. How many?”

  “Around two hundred. They didn’t say much but I think they came here after they lost big time in one of the cities.” Lily said, “The captain in charge seems to be trying to make the town secure.”

  “So a town full of thousands of people and soldiers who will all need supplies of their own for the winter.

  “There are not thousands there anymore. Apparently a lot of people came out here when things went to hell and some of those brought the virus with them. A lot of people died.”

  “I don’t know why we can’t just join up with them. At least with some soldiers to help protect us we will have a better chance.” Cass said.

  “Yeah right, they would cut you open straight away to find out why you aren’t a zombie” Gregg said with a snigger and ducked as she threw a playful punch his way.

  Laughter followed and the conversation turned to more familiar topics. I sat back in the ever so soft cushions and examined the unfamiliar feeling of being relaxed around these people. For the first time in as long as I could remember I felt comfortable with others.

  It was a strange feeling and I was concerned. Familiarity and comfort would make it easier to slip up, easier for people to notice the differences within me. Far too easy for me to make that one mistake, that would see me alone and vulnerable again. I couldn’t afford that.

  I would have to distance myself from others. Raise the walls around the core of who I was in an effort to keep them at bay. To stop them noticing my strangeness. I couldn’t help the sorrow that washed over me at the thought and I was taken aback by the very idea that keeping my distance would cause me any sorrow. I was still musing on that when I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 18

  The banging on the door wouldn’t stop no matter how much I tried to ignore it. With a grunt of annoyance I got to my feet and padded across the room with the thick woollen blanket Lily had provided, wrapped around me.

  I opened the door and found Eric standing with fist raised, ready to knock on the door again. He was dressed warmly against the early morning frost and hadn’t changed much since I had seen him last. He still looked at me with suspicion in his eyes.

  “What do you want?” I asked as I rubbed the last traces of sleep from my eyes. “What time is it?”

  “Six o’clock and it’s time for you to earn your keep.” Eric said with a sneer.

  “Earn my keep?”

  “Yes. You are going to be working for me keeping the camp running.” Eric said.

  “Why? I thought I would be joining the others scavenging for food.”

  “I don’t care what you thought you would be doing. I still don’t trust you enough to have you running around with a rifle. I want to keep an eye on you and I can do that here.”

  He definitely looked smug and I had to force back the urge to reach out and throttle him. “I do think that my skills would be better utilized doing something else.” I pointed out.

  “Well I am sure you will find new use for your skills with an axe today.” Eric said and laughed.

  With little choice, I quickly dressed and stepped out of the cottage into the cold morning air. Eric led the way through the camp towards the cottages that were closest to the waters of the lake. Several people were already up and about, busy with a number of tasks.

  Claire gave a wave as I passed. She was rooting around in the back of one of the parked vans and I saw that it was packed full of packages of food.

  “Is that where you keep your supplies?” I asked.

  “Some of them. Not your concern though.” Eric grunted.

  We walked around to the back of a cottage and I was introduced to two men who were busying themselves with hand axes and saws.

  “These are Josh and Martin” Eric said with a wave. “You will be helping them today.”

  “Doing what?”

  “We are on wood gathering duty today.” Martin said and brandished the axe for emphasis.

  “We gather any fallen branches and will be cutting up any fallen trees we find and carting it back here.” Josh added quietly.

  “Why? The cottages don’t have log fires do they?”

  “The bonfire needs fuel to keep burning every night.” Eric said, “So we need plenty of wood. Get to it.”

  I watched as Eric disappeared around the corner of the building before turning back to my two companions for the day. “So what do you need me to do?” I asked.

  “Follow us and try not to get lost in the woods.” Josh said as he passed me a saw. I wondered how well the serrated blade would do on a zombie, or perhaps on Eric before setting off after the others.

  The woods were dark and still, the barren branches were damp. A few hearty strains of ivy covered a few of the trees and ice had formed in the puddles of rainwater. It was a depressing way to start the day and my stomach rumbled a reminder that I hadn’t eaten.

  “When’s breakfast?” I asked the two dark forms that walked before me.

  “If you haven’t eaten yet then you are out of luck. Next time we get anything will be lunchtime.” Martin called back with a chuckle. My stomach gave a growl and I subsided into a sulk. I knew Eric didn’t trust me and he had made his dislike plain back at the clubhouse, but to stick me with the dreadfully dull camp duties was just cruel.

  “This place should do.” Josh said after a half an hour of walking.

  The sun hadn’t yet risen and all I could see in the dim light was trees and a tangle of undergrowth.

  “What are we doing here?” I asked.

  “Fallen tree over there” Josh pointed at a dark shape. “Saw it the other day. You two get to work sawing it into smaller chunks whilst I cut down some of the branches on these others.”

  Martin simply nodded and moved to one end of the tree. I watched a moment to see what he would do as I had never actually needed to cut a tree into pieces and I imagined it would be a great deal different to cutting a person into pieces for disposal.

  The trunk was less than two feet in diameter and Martin started sawing towards one end. He glanced up and saw me watching. “Start at the other end. Cut three-fourths of the way through and then move down four or five inches and do it again. Do it all the way down the trunk until we meet in the middle. Then we will roll it over and cut through the rest of the way.”

  “Why not just cut all the way through?”

  “The ground will get in the way and screw up the saw blade if you try that.” Martin pointed out and I nodded and moved to the opposite end from him.

  Sawing through a tree trunk was hard work and it wasn’t long before my arms were aching and more than once I wished for a chainsaw. It was several hours of hard work before I met Martin headed the other way and much to my embarrassment he had moved several feet past the middle of the trunk.

  I stood back and let the saw fall to the ground as I wiped sweat from my brow with the sleeve of my jacket. I watched enviously as Martin drank from a water bottle.

  “You weren’t given water?” Martin asked curiously and I shook my head. With raised eyebrows he passed over the bottle and I took a long swallow. “I thought Eric would have given you at least that much. He must really dislike you.”

  “The feeling is mutual at this moment” I said as I passed him back the bottle.

  With a chuckle Martin put the bottle away and gestured to the tree trunk. “Time to roll it over. You ready?”

  I nodded and with much straining, I helped Martin roll the trunk over. Once it was over he instructed me to continue with the sawing. Each of the cuts I had begun earlier would be completed and after a great deal of effort I sat back and stared at the pile of round chunks of
wood that had once been the tree.

  It was nothing at all like cutting up a person. It was a great deal more effort for a start and required much less mopping up afterwards. Martin sat beside me and offered me the bottle once again, which I took gratefully and drank the tepid water.

  “Now the fun part begins.” Martin said and with a laugh at my questioning look he added, “We have to carry it all back to camp.” I groaned.

  Josh returned just as we had begun to stack the round pieces of wood. He was lathered in sweat and carried the axe loosely in one hand.

  “I have another tree down and ready to go.” He said with a gesture behind him.

  “We have a couple of trips to make with this yet.” Martin said. “If we are lucky we will have enough time when we are done to cart back the branches from the one you just chopped down.”

  “Shouldn’t we have a wheelbarrow or something?” I asked.

  “Good luck with that. The scavenging teams are looking for food and blankets more than anything else at the moment.” Josh said with a laugh.

  “Don’t worry we usually switch around jobs unless you specifically ask for one that no one generally wants, like we do.” Martin said.

  “You fellows ask for this?”

  “It’s better than cleaning or inventorying the stock” Josh said. “Clean air, peace and quiet and its good exercise.”

  “Besides, we don’t want to be hanging around camp with that woman.” Martin said.

  “Which woman?”

  “The one that’s infected. You can’t tell me that she isn’t going to turn sooner or later.” He replied. “I will be happy to be out here when it happens.”

  I kept stacking the wood and felt it best not to mention that I had shared a cottage with Cass.

  Once all of the wood had been stacked we each lifted as much as we could carry and headed back towards camp. The ice had melted as the day wore on but that just left muddy puddles that we splashed through and made the ground slippery.

  It took four trips to get all of the wood back to the camp and after the last trip I was more than happy to say my goodbyes and head back to the cottage.

  My arms and back ached and all I wanted to do was sleep so I was less than pleased when I entered the cabin to find Julie sitting on the couch beside Lily.

  “Tough day?” Lily said, smiling at my expression.

  “Tiring day.” I grunted as I removed my jacket and fell back onto the second couch. “Where are Cass and Gregg?”

  “They are still out watching one of the roads.” Lily said.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked Julie.

  “I brought you some food.” She said and waved at the kitchen table and I noticed the plate of food. My stomach gave a rumble and I forced myself to my feet and padded over to the table to inspect it.

  “I heard Eric had you fetching wood today.” Lily said.

  “Yes. Anyone would think he didn’t like me.” I said in between bites of pie.

  “I was just telling Lily that I have been helping with food prep today.” Julie added.

  “Lucky you.”

  “Emma and Mark have been looked after by a couple of the older girls.” She said and I nodded, though I wondered why she was telling me.

  “The little girl has been asking after you.” Lily said and rolled her eyes as I shrugged. “That means you should check in on her.”

  “Why? She is being looked after now isn’t she?” I asked.

  “Yes but she will want to see you again.” Lily stressed.

  “Oh ok, I will check in on her tomorrow.” I said. I was in a much better mood after having eaten.

  “You will have the chance. I heard Eric say you are on laundry duty. You will love that.” Lily said and laughed in a manner that told me that I wouldn’t. It seemed Eric was going to be a pain and I would need to deal with him.

  Lily continued making small talk with Julie as I sat quietly and contemplated killing Eric and getting away with it. When it became clear that I wasn’t going to be talking, Julie gathered up my used plate and left.

  “I think she likes you.” Lily said after Julie had left.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “You don’t think food is brought to anyone else do you?” she said with a chuckle. “Maybe you should spend some time with her.”

  I hadn’t really thought about it or about Julie in that way. She had been useful on the journey out but I didn’t have any particular attraction to her, though choices were limited. For some reason I felt no particular urge to pursue her for a brief liaison.

  Lily was looking at me oddly and I realised she was expecting some sort of response.

  “I think I shall pass.” I said and received a smile from Lily.

  “I am going out with a group to scavenge tomorrow. I’ll ask Matthew if he can persuade Eric to let you go with us.”

  “It’s worth a try I suppose, though I doubt Eric will let me go.” I said.

  “I know you well enough to know that staying around camp for too long will drive you crazy and possibly get someone hurt.” Lily said in a low voice.

  “I do have some self control” I said irritably.

  “Really? With all these people around you all the time, you will hate it. I know you will.” Lily said, “We need to protect these people and I don’t want you to hurt anyone.”

  “You didn’t seem to care about that back at the stables.” I said with more than a little anger edging into my voice.

  “That was different and you know it. They deserved to die. I don’t care about people like that, I do care about innocent people and you know it.” Lily snapped back.

  “And you are the one who decides who is innocent and who is guilty before giving me permission to kill. Is that it?”

  “You know it isn’t.” She said. “They deserved it for what they did to Liz. I don’t want anyone to die but if it is to protect the people I care about then so be it.”

  “Well then it is lucky that you have such a useful tool to help protect those people isn’t it.” I said bitterly.

  “You are one of those I care about.” She said and crossed to sit beside me on the couch. “I care enough about you to not want you to be hurt because you killed the wrong person. I couldn’t like someone who indiscriminately killed and I do like you.”

  She seemed so earnest and scared sat there beside me. Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders and was in need of a trim. Her blue eyes were downcast and a blush had risen up her cheeks. She looked tired and alone and I wanted very much to offer her some comfort, some small piece of care, but I couldn’t.

  I respected Lily. She was beautiful and warm and someone who cared deeply about others. She was intelligent and willing to do what was needed. I could admit, if only to myself, that I enjoyed being around her. She was likely one of the few people left in the world that I could tolerate and she knew my secrets. She knew them and still could accept me and I had no way of articulating to her what that actually meant to me.

  The silence was growing increasingly strained and her eyes were reddening. When the door opened and Cass and Gregg entered it was a relief. Lily flinched at their entrance and swiftly got to her feet and disappeared into her bedroom. Cass took one look at me before muttering beneath her breath and following Lily.

  “We interrupt something?” Gregg asked grinning.

  I grunted and said “I’m going to sleep.”

  Gregg laughed and went into his own room. I settled back onto the couch, it was a long time before I could sleep.

  Chapter 19

  The repeated banging on the door was almost too much for me after a night of restless sleep. I flung the door open and growled at the stiff form of Eric who was standing with arm raised.

  “What?”

  “Get ready I have a job for you to do.” Eric said with a smug grin and I had to resist the urge to strike him.

  Instead of stabbing him repeatedly
with a sharp implement, I pulled on my jacket and boots and stomped outside into the cold morning air.

  “Does every task have to start before the sun is even up?” I asked.

  “It does for you. Come on.” He said and led the way through the camp once again.

  I could not say for certain what date it was, but I knew it must be sometime in December. The nights were long and the weather was cold. If we were lucky we wouldn’t get snow until January or February but I doubted we would be.

  It began to rain heavily before we were even halfway through the camp and Eric stopped and tutted to himself as he looked at the sky.

  “Well the rain puts a halt on doing laundry.” He said to me. “You can do inventory instead.”

  “Inventory of what?”

  Eric just turned and walked across to the transit van that I had seen Claire rooting through yesterday.

  “This van contains most of the food and medical supplies. I want you to take that...” he pointed to a clipboard that lay on top of one of the cardboard boxes. A pencil was attached to it by a string and several sheets of paper were held by the clip. “And then you will go through each box and bag and count each item and record it.”

  I watched as he walked away into the dark camp to no doubt ruin someone else’s sleep, before turning to the van and climbing into the back through the open doors. The task was long and dull and made all the more difficult when people would keep taking items that I had already counted.

  It was late afternoon by the time I had an even remotely accurate count of the food items and was able to move on to the medical things. I counted the plasters and rolls of bandages, the bottles of anti-septic and the woefully small amount of pain pills and antibiotics. I also counted four syringes complete with needle and instructions on use.

  With a furtive glance to make sure I was not being watched, I slipped one of the syringes into my jacket pocket and dutifully marked three on the inventory list. A germ of an idea was forming and I began to hum quietly as I worked.