Search for Safety: Killing the Dead Book Two Read online

  I squirmed beneath him trying to find some way to dislodge him. I managed to finally grab a hold of the poker he was swinging and we both fought over it. He snarled at me as he tried to push his weight down on the metal poker that I had managed to grasp with both hands.

  The poker was getting entirely too close to my throat and I knew that if I didn’t do something, I would likely die here beneath a foul smelling lowlife. As much as I disliked doing it, I turned my head to the side and bit his arm as hard as I could.

  Blood filled my mouth with its coppery taste and he screamed as he jerked away from me releasing his grip on the weapon. I spat the flesh I had torn from his arm at him and sat up as his weight fell off me. Giving him no time to recover I swung the poker and hit him first in the shoulder, then the head.

  My assailant was lying silently on the floor and I tried to stand. My ankle screamed in protest when I tried to put my weight on it. I was concerned it may be broken, that could quite easily be a death sentence in a world with roaming undead.

  I sat on the floor and did my best to wipe the blood from my mouth. I had no idea what nastiness was carried in that mans blood and I didn’t want to find out. I reached across and checked for a pulse. To my delight he was still alive. I pulled myself up on the chair that still contained the dead man and pulled my knife free before sitting once more beside the unconscious man.

  It took only a moment to clean the blood from the blade before resting it gently against the side of his throat. I stared down at him a moment, taking the time to enjoy this brief moment of peace. It would have been a great deal more pleasant if he were fully awake, but with limited mobility it was probably best not to wait. I drew the blade across his throat cutting deeply through the flesh. Blood sprayed from the wound and I scooted backwards away from him to avoid the worst of the spatter.

  Several minutes passed by as I quietly sat with the dead men and just enjoyed the pleasurable feelings amidst the peaceful solitude. This was the joy I wanted, the feeling I craved. The quiet pleasure of a kill done in peace, no matter how much fun killing someone in a fight could be it could never truly compare.

  Eventually the pain from my ankle seemed to insist that I move. I left the bodies where they lay and hobbled as best I could to the front door. I made my way to the first of the vehicles, pleased to see that these louts had also subscribed to the view that it was better to leave your keys in the vehicle just in case you needed to move quickly.

  I pulled open the door and climbed into the driver’s seat. “Hey” called Cass as she ran over from the storage building.

  “What?”

  “My brother needs somewhere safe to recover. Can we come with you?”

  “What makes you think it will be any safer with me?” I asked her with a grin that no doubt looked truly atrocious with the blood I was sure was still on my face.

  “You said you had a girl that these bastards had hurt back at your camp.”

  “So?”

  “If you are helping her, and you killed these guys to stop them, that tells’ me enough to risk it. We don’t have too much choice here.” Cass said.

  I was far too tired and in too much pain to argue so just said, “Fine, but you will have to get him in the car, my ankle is hurt.”

  She agreed and ran off back to the building. She disappeared inside and returned a moment later with her brother in tow. He was mobile but that was about it. His face was swollen and I doubted he could even see out of his eyes they were that puffed up.

  Cass helped him into the back seat before closing it and moving to stand beside my door. “You move over. If your ankle is hurt it’s probably best that I drive.”

  With a grunt I slid across to the passenger seat as she climbed in. Despite the condition of the buildings this farm had a number of items that we could use and someone would have to come back and do a thorough search. For now though I just wanted to get some rest. I gave Cass some directions and she reversed slowly down the driveway.

  We drove slowly without any lights at my insistence. I was in no condition to fight any zombies that may be attracted to our headlights. Cass was a careful driver and soon pulled up beside the van with no real problems.

  We clambered out of the Land Rover as the door opened and Pat looked out. I called him over to help and after a quick word with someone inside he ran over to join us.

  “What happened to you?” he asked as I limped around the front of the Land Rover. I must have looked terrible, once again covered in blood and I was feeling every ache. I waved away his questions and instructed him to help Cass with Gregg.

  Pat was happy to do so and I made my way slowly to the front door. Lily was standing in the doorway arms crossed as I awkwardly approached. “Are you going to let me in?” I asked with some concern when she didn’t move. I wondered if she had decided I was no longer welcome.

  She stared at me a moment before stepping aside and I did my best to get past her without putting any weight on my sore ankle.

  “Go sit in the living room and get that foot elevated” she said as I passed. “I will be in to join you soon. We need to talk.”

  I resisted the urge to groan. I was in no mood to talk about anything and I was fairly sure I knew what she would say. I just hoped she would allow me a few days to get fully mobile before kicking me out.

  My coat was removed and placed as neatly as possible on a hook beside the front door before I went and collapsed onto the couch. It was comfy enough and the coffee table was a convenient height to place my foot on. I managed to remove my shoes with only a little extra pain and tried my best to relax as I listened to the others bustle around in the rooms beyond.

  Above the mantle a clock ticked as it kept time. I was really beginning to hate the sound of a ticking clock. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it wasn’t there.

  I was beginning to doze as the sound of the door opening roused me. Lily walked in with two mugs held in her hands. She placed one before me and I was delighted to see that it was a hot cup of tea.

  “How’s your ankle?” Lily asked sitting in the chair to the side.

  “Painful but I will live.” I told her as I picked up and sipped the tea. It was lightly sweetened and after barely having enough water to drink for a week, more than welcome.

  “They are dead then?”

  “Oh definitely they are, yes.” I said with a genuine smile at the memory.

  “Good. I know I shouldn’t be happy about it, but I am. They didn’t deserve to live.”

  I nodded in agreement and wondered where this was going.

  “Liz is upstairs asleep, in case you were wondering.” Lily said and I shrugged not sure what to say. “You weren’t wondering though were you?” she asked.

  “I imagine that if anything had happened that I needed to know you would have told me.” I said.

  “Most people would have cared enough to ask though” she said with a sigh. “This is what I mean Ryan.”

  Once again I nodded to indicate understanding but in truth her point was eluding me. “What did you want to talk about that couldn’t wait until morning?” I asked her.

  Lily shook her head at me and rolled her eyes. “This is what I wanted to talk about.”

  “About Liz?”

  “No. About the fact that you don’t care about anyone but yourself.” She said with exasperation. “If it doesn’t directly involve you, then you aren’t interested and we need you to be interested in others.”

  “Why?”

  Lily sighed again and sat back in the chair considering her words before she spoke. “You said when I met you that you didn’t think we would survive this alone. That’s why you wanted to join together yes?” she finally asked.

  “Sure. I still doubt anyone would last too long alone.” I replied.

  “It isn’t just about working together though. You have to care enough about people to want to fight your hardest to survive.” She looked at me sadly, “I genuinely think that once things get really hard
you will disappear on us when we need you most, because you don’t care about other people. You don’t care about us unless we have some use to you.”

  “That isn’t true.” I said and raised a hand as she was about to speak. “You are right that I don’t care very much about most people. I can’t relate to them, I don’t know how to and I am fine with that. The people here though...” I broke off not quite sure how to put into words what I meant.

  “I have chosen to be with all of you and while I may struggle to communicate that, I am here by choice.” I said.

  “I wish I could believe you. I want to believe so much.” She said putting her untouched drink on the coffee table. “I care about the people here Ryan, we are all we have now and I will fight to the death to protect them. Can you say you would do that?”

  The idea of fighting to the death to protect anyone was a bizarre idea. Surely it would be better to live to continue fighting. My confusion must have been plain for her to see as Lily smiled sadly and said “I thought so.”

  “We have had this discussion already. I cannot change who or what I am. If you want me to pretend then I will do so, I passed as normal for years before this happened and I can fake it again if you want but I cannot be something I am not.” I said hotly.

  “I know” said Lily as she stood up. “It’s my fault for thinking you could be. Goodnight Ryan.” She said as she left the room.

  “I’m sleeping down here then I guess” I said to the empty room. I was annoyed, with myself as much as with Lily. I didn’t know why she cared so much all of a sudden but it was becoming a problem. The injury to my leg and the vulnerable position it left me in was enough to tell me that I needed other people. I sighed and closed my eyes, with any luck an answer to my problems would appear in a dream as I slept.

  Chapter 8

  I awoke the next morning just as the first rays of sunlight were coming in through the window. My sleep had been unpleasant and I had woken often with the pain of my ankle. I needed a shave and a wash and I wanted very much to relieve myself.

  With an effort I managed to rise off of the couch and hobble through to the hallway. Lily was heading to the kitchen and curtly informed me that the house had a downstairs bathroom where I could freshen up.

  In a short time I was back on the couch, feeling a little better about myself. I pulled off my sock and inspected my ankle as best I could. I didn’t think it was broken or at least I hoped it wasn’t broken.

  “Put your foot on the table and keep it elevated” Lily commanded as walked into the room with a steaming bowl of porridge which she passed to me with an instruction to eat.

  “It looks like you’ve sprained it. You will have to keep off of it for a few days and then you should be ok to get around a little.” She told me as she pulled a small pack of pills from her pocket. “Painkillers” she said as she tossed them to me. I eagerly swallowed two with a spoonful of porridge.

  “So what is the plan?” I asked her.

  “Well since we have a few people who aren’t ready to travel yet, we are going to have to stay here for a bit.”

  “It can’t be too long, we need to keep moving.”

  “I know. This place has its own gas supply and we have enough food to get by for a little time.” Lily said.

  “Someone needs to head back to strip that farm, from what I saw they had a nice supply of things we could use” I told her waving an arm in the general direction of the farm.

  “Pat and Rachel are going in the van this morning. Cass said she would go with them to get her and her brothers stuff too.” Lily said, “Cass told me what you did for her.” She added.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Rescued her and let her come here. Why did you do that?”

  I shrugged at her and ate some more porridge. I wasn’t in the mood to get into another argument about why I did something. Lily sat for a moment waiting for a reply before the sound of Maggie and Claire noisily descending the stairs distracted her. She left to dish out breakfast and I was alone once more with my thoughts.

  Pat was down stairs a short while later to unload the various supplies we had stored in the van. I was delighted to see him bring in the two bags of books that I had taken from the mobile library. At my request he dropped them on the couch next to me and I began to sort through them.

  I had tried to pick and choose books for their use to me in surviving but in my haste I had picked a few items up that would be no use at all. I immediately discarded the ‘How to crochet’ book. The book on sign language I put on the pile I had designated as possibly useful. Having some basic signs we could use when speaking was dangerous could be useful at some point.

  I had found several books on the plants and wildlife you would find in the UK, one at least was a very basic introductory guide but a couple of the others had plenty of pictures of the plants and where to find them along with their various uses. Those books went into the definitely useful pile.

  The rest of my morning was spent sorting books. The several biographies by various TV survivalists went into the possibly useful pile, they would need to be read fully to see what information they contained. The basic medical reference books went into the definitely useful pile, I hadn’t expected anything more than a basic ‘how to bandage’ yourself book so that was a really nice find.

  A few books on farming and animal husbandry and one on the Stone Age tribes of England. That was mainly a book for the kids to look through and learn some interesting things, but it did have the benefit of explaining how those ancient tribesmen made their traps and weapons from local materials.

  My most useful find were several books in the ‘back to basics’ genre that went into detail about the arts that had been lost to most people. In the few books of the series I had were the instructions on how to build a basic shelter and forage for food. Preserving food, fishing and rafting were included. All subjects that I knew little about.

  I sat on the couch for the rest of the day reading and attempting to think of ways to survive this apocalypse. Claire made an evening meal which Maggie brought into the living room for me. She was still quiet and shy around me but didn’t seem scared which was an improvement.

  According to the clock on the mantle it was after eight when Pat, Rachel and Cass returned. They were all excited and had the van loaded with all kinds of useful things. They had left the clothes of the dead men as no one wanted to wear anything those people had been wearing.

  They had a great deal more food to add to our stockpile including some more bottles of water that would be needed at some point. Apparently the three men had a great deal of alcohol and cigarettes as well. It seemed both Claire and Rachel were smokers and were more than happy to have those.

  Pat had found a number of knives and another hand axe that would help arm nearly everyone and then he brought out the guns.

  “What do you think you will be doing with them?” I asked him.

  “Well... shoot zombies.”

  “Do you even know how to use a rifle?” I asked as I looked at the hunting rifle he held.

  “Well you just aim it at a zombie and pull the trigger.” He said with a laugh.

  “These undead seem to head towards noise. You fire that and you will have them coming straight at you.” I pointed out.

  “No it will be fine. You’ll see. We can actually get rid of the bloody things without having to get close enough to be bitten.”

  “How many guns are there?” asked Claire.

  “Two hunting rifles” said Pat, “Oh and a couple of boxes of bullets for each.” He added.

  I shook my head at his excitement. Firing one of those would be a death sentence if you did it in the wrong place I was sure. He didn’t want to listen though and the others all seemed equally excited at the idea of being able to protect themselves from a distance.

  Everyone helped to unload the van and store all the belongings in the living room and kitchen while I sat on the couch feeling rather useless. When the van
was unloaded Claire fed those people that had just returned before taking Maggie up to bed. Cass excused herself to check on her brother and Pat and Rachel laughing playfully went up to their room.

  Lily had been checking on Liz throughout the day and now sat in the living room with the wind up radio from the house where the old man had died a few days before. She didn’t seem to want to speak to me so I continued to read through my stack of books as she wound up the radio and fiddled with the dials.

  The radio crackled to life and a faint voice could be heard speaking through the static. I put down my book and stared at the radio in Lily’s lap. I knew the UK didn’t have an emergency broadcast system, so if anything was still on air, it could mean that civilisation still existed somewhere.

  Her hands kept turning the dial as she tried to get a clear signal but after a few minutes the signal was gone and static was all we could hear.

  “Perhaps it’s someone trying to contact other survivors” I said.

  “It did sound like one person repeating a message.” She agreed.

  “If it is a group of survivors they may be trying to save power and only playing the message for a short time. We should keep trying during the day to see if we can pick it up again.”

  “Well that’s worth a try I suppose. It was a faint signal though, so it could be a long way from here.”

  “I thought you would be happy to find other people.”

  “I am... it’s just the few people we have met since leaving the refugee centre, have generally been the worst kind of people.” Lily said with a glum expression.

  “Not everyone will be like that.”

  “No, just the ones who are most likely to survive the longest though.”

  There really wasn’t much I could say to that. In truth it was likely that the ones most willing to kill and prey on other survivors would survive longest. I took a moment to really look at Lily as she busied herself once more with the radio. She looked tired, dark circles beneath her eyes and a frown that seemed to be permanently etched onto her brow.